Suspended for 1 day

Today is my cousin’s birthday. I greeted him on facebook a while ago. First thing in the morning. Today is not my day I got 1 day suspension because of my late for less than 90 days  There are a lot of things I cannot control like this one I was late 1 hour April 6, 2019 two days ago. Well, I had tire explosion good thing I was able to resolve it but, I have to be late to repair it I got scared My Life is really hard  because it sounds like a bomb and I’m shaking when I called fry’s to let them know I’m going to be late . I hit the curb on April 5th got nervous while driving my mom home from her dialysis. Well, Ate Wendy and Kuya Rob attended party hindi kasi nakasama si mommy so, she’s doing everything to spoil it. The dialysis nurse talked to me  told me that my mom is crying and told the she’s tired and she want to stop the dialysis. So, Im so bothered driving her home she will ruined everything just because of that party na di kami nakasama. Kung makasama man kasi kami eh hindi mag eenjoy at magtatagal sina ate Wendy dahil nga kasama kaming lahat isama mo pa tatlong bata plus si mommy na sobrang may sakit siya. Lord, hindi ko na po kaya please maawa ka naman samin kailangan naming mahimasmasan. Nahihirapan ako sa mundong ginagalawan ko. I’ve never been exposed to anything or anyone same age as mine  Middle age crisis Too old for 20’s too young for 40’s. I know I’m not the only one who’s not born and raised here in America but you know what ?I’m having the hardest time making friends to someone who’s not part of my Asian raised and who’s not part of my childhood, you know I have no idea how they think about me making friends with them or did they even think of me as “can we be friends?” or some kind of weird person who’s like I’ll beg them to make friends with me or some kind of “there is something odd about me” hahahahaha!!! How nincompoop  Hindi tumigil ang mundo mo nung naging nanay kita, pero ngayon nagging anak mo ko kailangan bang tumigil ang mundo ko para sayo it’s so unfair have you ever think of that or even realized that. You’ve never had a hard time raising me because Mama Angie is the one who raised me and I’m so thankful Iwasn’t raised by you because probably when that happens or let’s say I’m with you on my teenager years I’d bet I’m one of the teenagers who has shackles on my hands and feet and has an escort of police I would be a mass shooter just in case I was raised by you. Seriously, honestly, the way my life I am with you now you feed my heart and brain with so much hatred and bitterness. You ruined everything for me being here in America. I didn’t even fix myself first so how can I fix you? I thought you’re stable because you’re a NURSE as you proudly say but I’ve realized this won’t stop me begging for my freedom. Mom, I need to find myself and to find my life I do not belong to you. Please let me go. Tears fell always on the left first. It’s always pain. I’m always in pain nobody knows about it because I don’t want them to know.